Your Brain Is Hooked on Being Right

Your Brain Is Hooked on Being Right

I'm sure it's happened to you: You're in a tense team meeting trying to defend your position on a big project and start to feel yourself losing ground. Your voice gets louder. You talk over one of your colleagues and correct his point of view. He pushes back, so you go into overdrive to convince everyone you're right. It feels like an out of body experience — and in many ways it is. In terms of its neurochemistry, your brain has been hijacked.

In situations of high stress, fear or distrust, the hormone and neurotransmitter cortisol floods the brain. Executive functions that help us with advanced thought processes like strategy, trust building, and compassion shut down. And the amygdala, our instinctive brain, takes over. The body makes a chemical choice about how best to protect itself — in this case from the shame and loss of power associated with being wrong — and as a result is unable to regulate its emotions or handle the gaps between expectations and reality. So we default to one of four responses: fight (keep arguing the point), flight (revert to, and hide behind, group consensus), freeze (disengage from the argument by shutting up) or appease (make nice with your adversary by simply agreeing with him).

All are harmful because they prevent the honest and productive sharing of information and opinion. But, as a consultant who has spent decades working with executives on their communication skills, I can tell you that the fight response is by far the most damaging to work relationships. It is also, unfortunately, the most common.

That's partly due to another neurochemical process. When you argue and win, your brain floods with different hormones: adrenaline and dopamine, which makes you feel good, dominant, even invincible. It's a the feeling any of us would want to replicate. So the next time we're in a tense situation, we fight again. We get addicted to being right.

I've coached dozens of incredibly successful leaders who suffer from this addiction. They are extremely good at fighting for their point of view (which is indeed often right) yet they are completely unaware of the dampening impact that behavior has on the people around them. If one person is getting high off his or her dominance, others are being drummed into submission, experiencing the fight, flight, freeze or appease response I described before, which diminishes their collaborative impulses.

Luckily, there's another hormone that can feel just as good as adrenaline: oxytocin. It's activated by human connection and it opens up the networks in our executive brain, or prefrontal cortex, further increasing our ability to trust and open ourselves to sharing. Your goal as a leader should be to spur the production of oxytocin in yourself and others, while avoiding (at least in the context of communication) those spikes of cortisol and adrenaline.

Here are a few exercises for you to do at work to help your (and others') addiction to being right:

Set rules of engagement. If you're heading into a meeting that could get testy, start by outlining rules of engagement. Have everyone suggest ways to make it a productive, inclusive conversation and write the ideas down for everyone to see. For example, you might agree to give people extra time to explain their ideas and to listen without judgment. These practices will counteract the tendency to fall into harmful conversational patterns. Afterwards, consider see how you and the group did and seek to do even better next time.

Listen with empathy. In one-on-one conversations, make a conscious effort to speak less and listen more. The more you learn about other peoples' perspectives, the more likely you are to feel empathy for them. And when you do that for others, they'll want to do it for you, creating a virtuous circle.

Plan who speaks. In situations when you know one person is likely to dominate a group, create an opportunity for everyone to speak. Ask all parties to identify who in the room has important information, perspectives, or ideas to share. List them and the areas they should speak about on a flip chart and use that as your agenda, opening the floor to different speakers, asking open-ended questions and taking notes.

Connecting and bonding with others trumps conflict. I've found that even the best fighters — the proverbial smartest guys in the room — can break their addiction to being right by getting hooked on oxytocin-inducing behavior instead.

Post by Judith E. Glaser

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2013/02/break_your_addiction_to_being.html

Organizational Behaviour - Bowling Out The Oddballs

Organizational Behaviour - Bowling Out The Oddballs

Key learnings:

Impossible-to-get-along-with seniors are a top reason for attrition, But getting along with them is now becoming a professional requirement

Among the top reasons why employees leave organisations are impossible-to-get-along-with seniors. An effective way to address this issue is to inform seniors how their demeanour affects retention and employee morale. A practical way to deal with it is to equip employees with the art of dealing with tough bosses! The article outlines when equipped with a set of tactics, employees will find it easier to work with the toughies.

The art of getting along

A typical response when stuck with an eccentric boss is to quit. But given the economic low, job-hopping is a luxury few can afford. This however does not mean employees have to put up with poorly- behaved seniors. Moreover, organisations must and can avoid losing talent to poorly- behaved seniors. In short, if working with tough bosses is an occupational hazard then dealing with them is a professional skill! Here is how employees can be equipped with this skill.

As one behavioural expert says, "The first step to skills or competencies updation is awareness". Therefore, in dealing with tough seniors employees need to be aware of the different behavioural traits of the eccentric! Seniors can be categorised as under:

The lion: These seniors believe in roaring! Their modus operandi is based on a belief that much can be accomplished by shouting and creating a commotion. They also use intimidating non-verbal gestures such as staring and hand- on- hips to get their job done. A study reveals that such aggression manifests in those who are either impatient or like the spotlight to be on them for both right/ wrong reasons.

Effective ways of dealing with such seniors include:

. Listening to them without arguing
. Keeping one's ego aside. These seniors are likely to shout at their subordinates anywhere which can be embarrassing
. Following their instructions to the 't'. The best way to deal with impatient seniors is to give them few reasons to complain

The chameleon: Another impatient lot are seniors who want a number of jobs done simultaneously. Although they are not rude they have little tolerance for those who fail to execute their orders. But following too many instructions while ensuring quality is tough, at times even impossible and these seniors do not realise that. In passing instructions and orders they are seldom considerate about their subordinate grasping what and how things need to be done. These seniors are also a forgetful lot -a consequence of attempting to get much accomplished. So at times they will retort with, "When did I ask you to do this?

Effective ways of dealing with such seniors include:

. Making notes of all their instructions and sending them an e-mail about it
. Keeping them posted of the progress on tasks on a daily basis
. Taking them through the to-do list to reconfirm whether what is on it still needs to be done!
. Documenting any communication with them

The Peacock: These seniors hide their shortcomings in their feathers. They are too vain to admit that their position is not a result of hard work and the right competencies but sheer luck! Working with them becomes a challenge because they are poor decision- makers, talk a lot but do little and are least inspiring. The only advantage is, they are not harmful or conniving.

Effective ways of dealing with such seniors include:

. Fanning their false prestige by listening to all they have to say
. Talking to them about tasks and assignments in terms of deliverables and timelines
. Spelling out the benefits or consequences of decision -making at meetings and informal encounters

The fox: These seniors become difficult to deal with because they hit below the belt. Insecure in their positions they believe everyone is a threat and are plotting constantly to frame and fire people. Thankfully, they are a minority but unfortunately they are difficult to identify. Employees get to know of such seniors through others. When identified here is how one can manage around them:

. Documenting every piece of communication
. Keeping them posted of every move made
. Sharing ideas and suggestions only when an audience is around
. Talking about what happened at work with colleagues and other co-workers

Also, "being honest and acting with extreme care is the best policy when dealing with this type of boss," recommends an expert.

The serpent: The most dangerous of the lot are seniors who believe fear motivates employees best to perform optimally. Employees dread them because they:

. Fire people for invalid reasons
. Threaten employees constantly with punitive consequences
. Induce guilt in employees to get work done

According to experts, "The attrition rate of this boss is highest because of the fear and psychosis he creates" and the best way to deal with them is to leave before they can sully one's resume and reputation.

Working with seniors with eccentric behavioural traits is not easy but definitely easier than giving up without trying! Moreover when it comes to building and maintaining employee relationships a bit of their onus is an employee's too. In using the above-mentioned tactics to identify who their seniors are, employees can work around a strategy to work with them better.

Reference: TheManageMentor

Boost Engagement in a Financial Crises: Tell the Truth

Boost Engagement in a Financial Crises: Tell the Truth

The recent turmoil on Wall Street appears to carry more than just financial implication: It may be lowering employee productivity and engagement, as well.

In a new survey by Workplace Options, a work-life consulting and training company, half of respondents said they are experiencing stress because of financial concerns, and nearly the same amount said that stress makes it hard to perform their jobs.

"It's a critical issue because the first reaction is to hunker down, play it safe and try to not stick out," said Jim Haudan, CEO of Root Learning and author of The Art of Engagement: Bridging the Gap Between People and Possibilities.

"When fear, uncertainty and doubt reign supreme, people begin to get on the [anxiety] train," Haudan explained. "They look at turf control, they begin to catastrophize what's going on, and they begin to worry if [they're] next. All of these emotions are very real, and all of these emotions are exactly what you don't need at a time when you want people to unify, align, change and be agile.

"To help get employees back on track and to leverage workers' capabilities to the fullest, Haudan said talent managers should advise leaders to do the following:

1. Convey the reality of the situation.

Above all, leaders must be frank with employees. "People are amazingly resilient and able to deal with the downside, but the unknown is paralyzing," Haudan said. "The leader's job is to bring the facts into focus and create a perspective.

"To do that, leaders must engage in two specific behaviors: tell the truth and show the bigger picture. "[When leaders tell] the truth, people actually becoming more trusting," Haudan said. "It's when you're not thinking you're being told the truth that you become less trusting.

"There's a very emotional connection, too," he explained. "Telling the truth also conveys that we, leaders, understand the predicament our people are in in such an empathetic way it creates a connection [that allows us] to go forward rather than stay where we're at.

"But leaders also should be sure to convey the bigger picture to employees. Haudan said employees often complain they only receive bits of information that can often give them a haphazard view of what's going on, like disparate jigsaw puzzle pieces.

"They said, 'Why don't [executives] just send the cover of the box across to the puzzle, so we can see how it all fits together and then realize that some of these parts that seem to be in conflict may have their appropriate places?' I think more than ever in these turbulent times, getting people to see the 'box top' of the business and the state of the business is absolutely essential to tap into their capability," Haudan said.

2. Communicate the "score.

"When the financial crisis began to unravel, many employees were glued to their computers, constantly clicking for updates."I've never seen so many [people] check the market so many times in one day," Haudan said. "Human beings, in times of turmoil, want to know what the score is. There's never been greater curiosity about the score; use and leverage that curiosity to not only [get employees to] understand the business but to keep everybody in the game. The urgency can either tear us apart or be a catalyst to bring us together."

3. Prioritize.

Employees are likely to feel overwhelmed in turbulent times, and when upper management unwittingly leads them to believe every initiative is urgent or important, they're more apt to just give up. Leaders should focus on keeping things simple and direct to improve engagement.

Ref:Agatha Gilmore

Ten Things Great Bosses Know...

Ten Things Great Bosses Know...

1. The Most Important Thing Bosses Do Is Help OTHERS Succeed:

This sounds simple, but bosses got promoted because of their personal achievements. Now, they have to shift the focus from themselves to the growth of those who report to them. In other words, it's not about YOU, boss. It's about the troops. If they do well, you should, too.

2. Managers Cannot Treat Everyone The Same:

Great bosses learn how to customize their approach to each person. Yes, they hold true to core values, but don't assume that they have to act in identical ways with each staffer. They manage people as the complex individuals they are. And that's a real skill.

3. IQ Gets Bosses Only So Far; EQ Takes Them to The Next Level:

I'm talking about emotional intelligence: the ability to be self-aware, self-managing, socially aware and adept at managing relationships. This means knowing how to read the emotions of others as well as our own, to know how to power up or power down in synch with a situation, to build trust through expertise, integrity and empathy.

4. People Fall In Love With Ideas & Solutions Of Their Own Creation:

It's faster and easier to tell people what to do; but when people come up with their own ideas, they are much more invested in them. Anyone who's ever assigned stories knows this one. Journalists love the project they come up with more than the one that's given them. When we put our personal stamp on something, we care more about it. This applies in work assignments, negotiation and conflict resolution.

5. Coaching Is A Critical Skill:

Bosses who "fix" the work of others don't help them grow. Fixing may be faster, but has short-term impact. Coaching takes more time but the results last. Fixing is about the product, coaching is about the person. With good coaching, the person and the product improve.

6. Staffers Must See You, Not Your Evil Twin:

What's the difference between visionary and delusional, a roll-up-my-sleeves helper and a micromanager, or between confidence and arrogance? It's often in the the way the leader communicates and the staff perceives her. Leaders can't assume their employees can read their minds. It's hard work to make your intentions clear.

7. Conflict Doesn't Get Better If It Is Ignored:

The best bosses build cultures where conflict may be inevitable among smart, creative people, but it is handled extremely well. Differences are aired, values are clear, people are held accountable, and bullies don't win.

8. Intrinsic Motivation Is The Most Powerful:

The best work gets done when people motivate themselves. That's intrinsic motivation: Internal engines like competence, choice, meaningfulness and progress. Or the joy of working with a team, or achieving something solo. Great bosses know what drives each person they lead.

9. Managing Change Is A Constant Responsibility:

Change can make people very uncomfortable, but leaders must move people in new directions, toward new opportunities. Today's newsrooms are undergoing massive changes of culture, workflow, skill sets, formats and technology. Great leaders build bridges to the future.

10. Leaders Inspire Others:

There's meaning, honor and dignity in every form of honest work. Don't fear that you will look corny by sharing a vision, a passion, or a dream. The best bosses make us feel better about ourselves, our work and our goals. Dare to inspire.

10 Steps to Use Workplace Conflict to Your Advantage

Is there such a thing as a good fight? The willingness to embrace conflict and turn a bad fight into a good one is a hallmark of a great leader. And if you want to learn, there are steps you can take to help turn negative conflicts into creative opportunities.

1) Don’t Despair, Prepare!

First, and most importantly, know that sometimes it’s best to walk away from conflict. Know your ‘exit point’ -– the point at which it makes more sense to walk away from a conflict than it does to work to manage the issue. There are times that it will be your best option.

Everyone has their own style of dealing with conflict. Understand the different styles, identify yours and the styles of your team. Learn to appreciate the diverse styles of others, assume leadership when conflicts arise, and value the creative spark that conflicts can kindle.

2) Follow the Yellow Brick Road

What is your goal? If you can agree on a common goal – to creatively solve a problem, to generate a new idea or to sell more products -– you’ll have a better chance of harnessing the conflict. Sometimes the root of a conflict is that you don’t even agree on what the problem is -– or that you’re struggling to address different issues.

3) Reveal, Don’t Conceal

You must agree -– at least some extent -– to be vulnerable, to reveal why you want something, and to declare what’s really important to you about an issue. When we’re in conflict, we always have a story – usually one that justifies our proposed solution. Listen and try to understand the other person’s story. If the other person won’t reveal their needs or interests, ask open-ended questions and look for clues.

4) Tackle the Problem , Not the Person

Focus on the problem and persuade the other person to join you in solving the problem. Make the problem your common enemy rather than blaming the other person for causing the problem. Try and discourage conflicts from becoming personal.

5) Play Within Bounds

Sometimes conflicts are caused by process problems rather than substantive issues. If the other person remains difficult, start talking more about standards and procedures than about the problem. This can help you creatively manage a conflict that seems like an unmovable object.

6) Stir Up a Storm

Brainstorm -- welcoming all suggestions -- then sort through them all and determine which ones merit further study. Many of us fall in love with our solutions and decide that our idea is the only possibility. The best resolution for all concerned may not be the one we had previously discussed.

7) Take a Time Out

Classic advocates of creative conflict management have used this move throughout history. Martin Luther King Jr. suggested we “go to the mountain” during conflict to gain the higher ground and a better perspective on the problem. Gandhi retreated to meditation and fasting during the most intense periods of his struggle to free the Indian people. When things get heated or stalled consider taking a time out to regroup.

8) Talk Until You Drop

People don’t allow enough time for creative conflict management. In our modern, instantaneous world we have lost our patience. If you have decided the conflict is worth your time and energy, make sure you allow sufficient time for management. It usually takes longer than we think to produce good fights instead of bad ones.

9) Circle the Wagons

When you reach an agreement or a creative solution, you need to go through some sort of closure process. Arrange a time in the future to review how the solution is working. Agree upon an action plan to accomplish the goals of an agreement and decide who does what, when and where.

10) Write to Avoid New Fights

Write down what you think you’ve agreed upon at various stages. The process helps clarify your own thinking as well as the agreement. We all tend to assume the meaning we ascribe to a certain word or discussion is the same for everyone. This one act will save you a world of hurt down the road.

These ten steps can provide a roadmap to lead you skillfully through using conflict to generate creativity. While you may not need to use all ten for every situation, it’s good to review them before you try to resolve an issue. Then, you’ll be able to see where you’re stuck and what you need to do to move forward. For complex disputes, you may very well need to work your way through all the steps with all the parties.

Assessment Questionnaire Instruments

There are some principles need to be considered when designing questions items for 360 degree assessment questionnaire. to be useful, they must be constructed carefully. A simple way to test each of your items is to ask if the item can be described as the following:

Unidimensional. This means that the item measures only one thing. Perhaps the most common survey-item error is the double question, for example, "To what extent does this person coach and counsel subordinates effectively?" Coaching and counseling are two different activities, of course, and they require separate measurement. The item should be recast as two; otherwise, how does the rater respond if the person being rated is effective on one but not the other?

Free of qualifiers. Words like "usually," "always," "never," and "good" can invalidate the rating scale. For example, if you use a "Strongly agree? Strongly disagree" rating scale, and an item reads, "This person always involves others in decisions that affect them," how would a rater respond if the person being rated sometimes does this, but not always! Such qualifiers should simply be eliminated.

Observable. The rater must have had the opportunity to see what is being rated. Asking raters to infer and judge is asking for contaminated data. The item, "To what degree is this person skilled in making his or her points clear under stress?" is preferable to "To what degree is this person good at handling conflict situations?" The former can be directly observed, whereas the latter represents an inference or summary judgment. The difficulty with items that require inferences and judgments is that raters will respond to them, but the recipient of the feedback may not be able to interpret the data or find ways to improve on those items.

Tied to the scale. If you use a frequency scale, the items must be written to conform to it. The item "This person shows competency in being able to locate prospective customers effectively" requires a degree scale rather than a rating of frequency.

Clear and understandable. Ideally, every rater needs to interpret each item the same way. That means avoiding any language that is ambiguous, jargonistic, or at too high a level of comprehension. Good rules are to use easy, common words and to write at the lowest educational level of the personnel who will respond to the instrument.

Ratable by the data sources. Since 360° feedback interventions often involve such disparate sources of ratings as self, bosses, peers, subordinates, internal customers, external customers, trained observers, and friends and family, it is critical that the items cover what these raters know something about; otherwise there will be many holes in the feedback. Our practice is to determine the sources of ratings before constructing the instrument, so that we include only those items that respondents are qualified to rate.

Developmental ("So what? Now what?"). Instrument items should center on things that the feedback recipient can do something about. The goal is to generate reliable, valid data that will be useful for developing self-directed action plans for improvement. Getting feedback on "To what degree does this person display an attitude of optimism?" would probably not be so useful to feedback recipients as one that asks, "To what degree is this person able to assist you in analyzing your problem situations at work?"

Aligned with the organization's vision. The item set should concentrate on what is critical to realizing the hoped-for future of the organization. The connection between what the instrument measures and what the organization stands for and is headed toward should be obvious to all respondents. In a sense, 360° feedback instruments are strong organizational messages about what is important: "If you're going to stay here and flourish, you need to become highly competent in these areas." This approach obviates the need for "importance" ratings; every item has already been decided to be critical to carrying out the organization's intentions.

Content Areas

Developing instruments for 360° feedback entails choosing appropriate content, If you choose to measure other dimensions of individuals, here are categories to consider:

Skills: Sets of behaviors that are shaped toward "objective" standards. Examples: designing meetings, writing objectives, listening, repairing a machine.

Competencies: Developed abilities. Competencies are more general than skills, and often subsume sets of skills. Examples: intervening in conflict situations, providing performance feedback, elucidating vision, strategic planning.

Traits/Characteristics: Descriptions of the feedback recipient as an individual?his or her "character." Examples: trustworthiness, intelligence, creativity/innovativeness, decisiveness.

Attitudes/Feelings: Inferred from behavior. Attitudes are predispositions to behave predictably toward an object or class of objectives. Feelings are emotions that are experienced in reaction to, or anticipation of, situations and events. Examples: "isms," optimism, patience, anger.

Behaviors/Leadership Practices: Observable: what the person actually does. Examples: involving people in planning, interceding for subordinates making "command" decisions, expressing caring.

Ref: John Jones and William Bearley

Resolving conflicts at work

Conflicts are inevitable between people at any time but the ones at work place can have a negative effect on ones performance and health. Handling work conflict can take its toll on most of us. There are some better ways to cope up with such negative effects or conflicts themselves. Here we are trying to outline the ways and means of not only dealing with conflicts but also approaches to avoid them as much as possible.

Conflicts at workplace are often a common concern for managers and seniors. The manager’s job is not only to allocate work and give guidance but also to make the team work as a close unit.
To be able to avoid conflicts in the team, it is advisable to have pre-meetings with team members:

1. Speak with each member about project objectives, deadlines etc.
2. The roles of each team members and the leader of the team through specific phases of the project need to be clearly defined.

In case conflicts arise a manager need to find out,

1. need to be quick to find out the details from his team.
2. need to then take an action immediately.
This is not the time to comfort troubled subordinates, nor is it appropriate to threaten them. A middle ground would prove to be the best bet for an objective fact-finding mission.
3. Schedule a one-on-one meeting with the troubled employee; begin by outlining the problem with clear, detailed facts ad examples.
4. Refer to previously documented objectives, illustrating how the current issue is specifically impacting those goals.
5. Find out if there are any barriers coming in the way of work. Try to remove them through training, intervention with other department, or by a re-evaluation of priorities based on the needs of the group.
There is a proper time to interfere in the event of a conflict. Before a manager says anything, it’s important to find out whether his involvement would help or hinder the situation. Stepping in to intervene between colleagues who are at odds with each other can be a touchy issue. Keep the following tips in mind:

A manager must make sure to come across as someone who is unbiased and open. He also needs to be a good listener and a creative problem solver. Above all, he must be trustworthy in the eyes of his team mates and discreet. Whether or not he can diffuse the conflict has a lot to do with how he is perceived by the two parties involved in the conflict. It would prove to be an advantage if the manager has the respect of the people involved.

Managing the conflict or differences is best done by understanding the conflict style because conflict can also be healthy and creative. The best thing is to handle it constructively.

Conflicts may arise between you and your boss, friend or partner or in people working with each other in close proximity for a long time and is common especially amongst those having the same goals but who disagree on the means of by which they can be achieved. Even a minor conflict can create tension, so it is important to know the root cause of it because often its magnitude is hugely out of proportion to the disagreement that caused it while sometimes the problem seems trivial but actually there may be some thing deep-rooted.

Today, work stress is a major problem that afflicts people. Basically, any argument can result in anger, anxiety and stress. These can then reflect upon overall health, giving rise to high blood pressure, headache or even depression. The sooner the differences are resolved the better. If one is not able to control his anger then h should seek the help through counseling.

When a disagreement occurs then one should not over react. If so then the ‘opponent’ will never consider the other person’s viewpoint. By not over reacting at least you will find some consideration from the opponent. There are people who can manage their differences well. Everybody can do it but for that one needs to understand the conflict style. If one is able to do this then it helps one to act differently as suggested by expert psychologists.

Recognize, which style you belong to and try and change. Conflict in work relationship is natural. Communication and compromise is the key here. Accusations are a big ‘no’. Do not let conflicts go out of hand.